The Best Detention Ever
by Hallie Black
Summary: Everybody knows that Black equals Slytherin. It’s been this way for the past six generations. But what’s going to happen when elevenyearold Sirius Black doesn’t do exactly what is expected of him? And, moreover, how is everyone else going to react?


THE BEST DETENTION EVER

Summary: Everybody knows that Black equals Slytherin. It's been this way for the past six generations. But what's going to happen when eleven-year-old Sirius Black doesn't do exactly what is expected of him? And, moreover, how is everyone else going to react?

DISCLAIMER: I am not JK Rowling and thus do not own any of the following characters and settings.

A/N: This was originally written as a memory for the fifth chapter of _Sirius_ly Me. However, as I began writing this episode, the story grew longer and longer, and in the end, I have decided to use it as an independent fic. This, however, leads to a few other notices:

You will see, reading along, that I have written Bellatrix as younger than Narcissa, and, moreover, as being as old as Sirius and the Marauders. This is due to the fact that when I began writing Siriusly Me, JKR had not yet drawn up the Black Family Tree – and I had thus implied that Bella was the youngest of the Black sisters, making her as old as Sirius. While I could easily change Sirius's parents' names in order to fit with JK's characters, I obviously couldn't change the girls' age, because then I would have had to rewrite the whole story. Therefore, this ficlet, just as Siriusly Me, will feature Narcissa being four years older than Bellatrix, who, in turn, is only a few months older than Sirius.

This said, enjoy!

CHAPTER ONE – Getting to Hogwarts

Sirius stared at his mother's figure as it grew more and more distant. The Hogwarts Express was gaining speed, and all the relatives that had come to say a final goodbye to their grown-up children were quickly fading away. Sirius turned to his cousins with a blank look as if to ask "Now what?".

Narcissa gazed at him and Bella snootily before saying, "Mother told me to look after you two, at least till we get to Hogwarts." She smiled nastily at them and added, "Apparently, she doesn't trust either of you to make it to school without getting in trouble." She pushed an apprehensive-looking first year out of the way before continuing, "Now follow me. I'm going to let you share my compartment as long as you behave yourselves."

Barely ten minutes into the journey, however, Sirius rather thought that it should have been Narcissa behaving herself, and not the other way around: they hadn't even had the time to put away their luggage and sit down that Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa's boyfriend to date, decided to join them, getting immediately quite busy with the girl. Sirius and Bellatrix exchanged looks, and for the first (and only) time in their lives, they seemed to agree on something: they were _not_ going to spend the whole trip watching Lucius and Cissy getting more and more intimate as time went by.

Sirius stood up quickly. "I need to use the restroom..."

"Yeah, to puke, more like," muttered Bella, just so that he could hear. Then she added, this time addressing her sister, "I'll go with him, just to make sure he doesn't get in trouble.."

Narcissa gave them a careless wave, to show them she'd understood, before turning her attention back on Malfoy, whose hand was hiking higher and higher from her thigh.

"Eww!" exclaimed Bella as Sirius shut the compartment door behind them. "I really did _not_ need to see that... I mean, I'm happy for her she hooked up with a Malfoy, but I'm positive he'll marry her even if he doesn't get her knocked up at fifteen..." Sirius shook his head in disgust as Bella continued, adopting a whining tone that the young man didn't know she possessed. "How great is this?" she asked sarcastically. "Now where are we going to stay till we get to Hogwarts? C'mon, let's go find a compartment."

And so, Sirius obediently followed his cousin's lead, as she made her way down the long, seemingly endless corridor, occasionally stopping to peek at the occupants of the various compartments, to judge whether they would have been worthy of their presence.

"Look, that's Amos Diggory and his crew. Pure-bloods, yes, but they're all Hufflepuffs, definitely _not_ someone we want to be seen hanging out with—

"I can't believe they've let scum like that into this school… I mean, Mother told me that ever since that Mudblood-lover became Headmaster, they've let all sorts of riffraff in Hogwarts… But Fawcett? Did you know his father had a bloodline almost as pure as the Malfoys, but then he just went and got married to this Mudblood, and they had _him_! I even hear he has a brother who's a Squib…

"Oh, look! That's Althea Crouch, her bloodlines are fine, I suppose, even if she is in Ravenclaw… we could stay here… Oh, but wait! Do you know who that kid in the corner is? I've never seen him before… which means he mustn't be a pure-blood… I mean, Father's introduced Cissy and me to every child whose pure lineage could be traced to at least six generations back… and I don't remember him… C'mon, let's move on, this isn't good…"

Sirius rather thought that if she kept this up, they were going to spend the whole trip in the corridor. He was about to point this out to her, when she stopped, smiling exuberantly, in front of a compartment.

"Finally!" she exclaimed, still smiling. "Look! Joyce Swann, Kerry Nott, Orsa Flint, and Isabelle Goyle… Perfect!" She slid the door open, and beamed at the group. "Hello! Am I glad to have finally found a worthy compartment!"

The girls inside exchanged her smug smile. "Yes, we had quite some trouble finding a compartment to ourselves… You should have seen, this kid – Hestia Jones, I believe her name is – trying to tag along… But, of course, it's common knowledge that her grandmother had a sister who's a Squib…" The girl who had spoken, a pretty young lady with long dark hair and light blue eyes, whom Sirius had understood was Joyce Swann, removed her purse from the seat next to her, to make room for Bellatrix. "We couldn't have someone like _that_ mingling with us, could we?"

"Of course not," snapped Bella, sitting down. She then turned to her cousin, who was still standing in the doorway. "Hey, freak! Are you coming or not?"

Sirius gazed at the group of girls, who were all staring haughtily at him. Was this the kind of people he wanted to be around for the rest of his life? People like his parents, his family, or this Joyce, who wouldn't even talk to a girl because her grandmother had a sister who couldn't do magic? "Um," he replied hesitantly. He smiled. "Actually, I think I'll look for another compartment."

The girls stared. "Why? They're all full, and I doubt you'll find one occupied by people better than us," stated a blonde, whom, if he remembered correctly, was Orsa Flint.

"Oh, I don't doubt that," he answered, still smiling sweetly, "but, you know, I wouldn't want to spend the whole journey listening to some 'girl talk'… I'm sure I'll find a compartment just as worthy… Maybe I'll look for Lestrange, Avery… Don't worry…"

Their looks cleared up at once at this, and Isabelle even told him where to find her brother. "I hear he's sharing a compartment with Evan Rosier, who, unless I'm much mistaken, is even related to you. I'm sure you'll have a great time with them!"

Sirius nodded and headed out. As he closed the door behind him, he shook his head. _These people are amazing… I don't think I've ever met anyone as creepy as they are! And considering I've been raised in the Black household, that is saying something._ He had absolutely no intention to join Rosier, Lestrange, Avery, Goyle, or any other Slytherin wanna-be that his parents had already introduced him to. After all, he was probably going to spend his whole life with these people… why speed up the process?

This is why he spent the next half an hour just roaming around the train, looking for an empty compartment. Just as he was resigning to spend the whole trip in the bathroom, he noticed that the last compartment had its door ajar, and no sound seemed to come from inside. Figuring it must have been empty, he made his way to it, and opened the door.

Inside there were two boys, who seemed around his age. One had blond hair, and looked very pale, though he smiled nonetheless as Sirius poked his head inside. The other, a short, mousy-haired kid, was staring absentmindedly out of the window, and only became aware of Sirius's presence when the latter cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, can I sit with you? Everywhere else is full…"

The blonde smiled. "Of course. Come on in." He held out his hand. "My name is Remus Lupin."

Lupin, Lupin… Sirius racked his brain, but couldn't remember having met any other Lupins before, signalling this boy had to be either Muggleborn or half-blood. He thought back of his cousin and her friends, and figured this had to be a good sign. He shook the boy's hand, grinning. "Hi, I'm Sirius."

The shorter kid, who had stayed quiet throughout this exchange, widened his eyes in surprise. "Sirius? As in Sirius _Black_?"

Sirius laughed. "Yes… I don't suppose there are many other 'Sirius' around. My family has always had a knack for rather… ehm… _fascinating_ names."

"I like it," said Remus.

"I don't, really," answered Sirius, "but then, I can't really blame my mother for wanting to name me with something horrid. After all, her name _is_ Walburga."

Remus laughed. "Okay, I don't like that. My mum's name is Julia, so I suppose she could have come up with something better than Remus."

Sirius chuckled, before addressing the shorter kid, who had not yet introduced himself. "And what's your name?"

He seemed to be amazed that Sirius was actually talking to _him_ , but after making sure there was no one else in the compartment, he hesitantly replied, "Peter Pettigrew… Very nice to meet you… I, uh…"

Sirius looked at him. He was sure he'd heard the name Pettigrew before, but having never met Peter, he supposed his family must have been one of those 'recent' purebloods, whose lineage could be traced only as far as six generations back, but who desperately wanted to become part of the high society, and were commonly sneered upon by more 'ancient' purebloods. This would also explain why Peter would be willing to spend the whole trip either by himself or with someone his family would consider a 'nobody'.

Remus had gone back to his book, which Sirius found incredibly odd. After all, what with being the heir of one of the largest fortunes in the wizarding world, he wasn't used to being ignored. However, he didn't mind the comfortable silence that had come, and contented himself to sitting down and taking a book out of his trunk as well.

"_On the Horntail's Trail_?" asked Remus, looking at the book in Sirius's hands. "Sounds interesting."

Sirius smiled. "It is. Personally, I've loved all of Semele March's works, but I think this one is her best one yet. I could lend it to you once I'm done reading it," he added. He was happy to have found something to share, and, more importantly, someone to share it with.

"I'd love to… I've never read any of her books," answered Remus, smiling sheepishly. "But I hear they're really good."

"They are! I have tons of them at home," he replied. "What about you? What are you reading?"

"Muggle book," answered Remus apologetically. "_The Lord of the Rings _… Ever heard of it?"

"A _Muggle_ book?" repeated Sirius, surprised. "You mean Muggles have books, too?"

Remus chuckled. "Of course! Actually, I find that most of them are a lot better than ours…" He paused. "You really didn't know?"

Sirius shook his head. "I don't know much about Muggles, actually."

Peter finally piped up. "Well, it's not like you'd want to know more about them," he said carefully. Knowing the Black family by fame, he was trying his hardest to get on this boy's good side.

Remus seemed a bit put out at this, but Sirius didn't seem to notice, as he excitedly replied, "Are you kidding me? I'd love to know more about them…" He smiled conspirationally at them. "Do you know that I saw a Muggle once? A woman, in her mid-forties… I only caught a glimpse of her, though," he added sadly.

Remus actually burst out laughing at this. "You've got to be joking!"

"Why? Did you see a Muggle, too?" asked Sirius, disappointed that he wasn't the only one in having done so.

"See one? Why, a lot of my friends are Muggles!" answered Remus. "Actually, my grandparents are Muggles, too… My mum's Muggle-born, you see."

Peter shook his head. _Honestly_, he thought, _what is this kid doing? Doesn't he know who the Blacks are? He must if his father's a wizard… _And no one, Peter knew, would tell a Black he was a half-blood on purpose. Especially not on the first day of school, if he actually wanted to have any kind of social life in Hogwarts.

Sirius grinned, before looking down at his watch. "Oh, look… The train should be arriving in less than five minutes. I'd better go, my cousins are probably waiting for me."

Remus waved. "Okay. I'll see you up at the castle, then."

Peter said goodbye, too, just as Sirius closed the door behind him.

He couldn't believe it. He, Sirius Black, had finally met a half-blood… which wasn't as good as a Muggleborn, whom he'd really wanted to meet, but was close enough. _After all,_ he reminded himself,_ his grandparents are Muggles_. Remus seemed like a really nice guy, despite his parentage. As a matter of fact, he seemed way better than any of the smug kids his family's always introduced him to. Suddenly, all the punishments he'd endured for standing up for Muggles in Bullpustule seemed well worth it, if this was how all Muggles and Mudbloods were. _Muggleborns_, he hastily corrected himself. _I have to be careful. I wouldn't want to offend anyone before even meeting them properly_… But then, it wasn't really his fault, what with having been raised in the Black household.

"Sirius! Where have you been?" asked Narcissa angrily, as soon as Sirius stepped through the door.

He snorted. "Well, you couldn't really expect me to stay here and watch you screw Malfoy, could you?"

The faintest of blushes crept on the girl's cheeks. "That's not what I was referring to, brat. About time you two gave me some privacy." She paused, before beginning again, even more resolutely. "Bella told me she spent the whole journey with Swann, Goyle, Flint, and Nott, and that you left because you didn't want to stay with them."

"After what I'd witnessed in here? You've scarred me! It'll be your fault when I won't be able to sit near a girl on this train," answered Sirius, his replies getting more and more cheeky.

"Your love life is your problem, you sodomite. I don't care," said Narcissa, this time flushing a bit more. "I want to know where you've been."

"None of your business," replied Sirius coolly.

"Funny how it's not, but it will be _your_ business when your mother finds out you've spent the whole trip with Mudbloods and blood-traitors," answered Narcissa smugly.

"Says who?" asked Sirius. "Who's told you I haven't stayed with Avery and Lestrange?"

Narcissa tutted. "Sirius, Sirius… Bella told me that when you two entered the girls' compartment, something fell out of your pocket, so she and Isabelle Goyle went to look for you. Funnily enough, you'd said you were either going with Rosier and Goyle or with Avery and Lestrange… yet you were in neither compartment…" She trailed off, smirking as colour visibly drained out of Sirius's face.

"And?" asked Sirius.

"Where were you?" barked Narcissa yet again. "You might as well tell me, because just because I don't have proof, it doesn't mean I'm not going to tell your mother you're meeting Mudbloods…"

"Aw, shut up, you hag," replied Sirius, now grinning. "Do you really want to know where I've been?"

"Obviously," she answered.

"Well, as I was heading towards Goyle's compartment, I met this lady carrying the food trolley, and, since I was hungry, I bought Merlin knows how much candy, and ate it all. Apparently, I must be allergic to something, because I spent the whole journey in the bathroom, puking, though my nausea could have been caused by seeing you and Malfoy, earlier," he added thoughtfully.

Narcissa glared at him. "Ew… and you really expect me to believe that?"

"Have you seen me anywhere else during this trip?" he asked, smiling.

"You don't look very green," pointed out Narcissa.

Sirius grinned even wider. "And you're not happy about that? Did you really want a Black to enter Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry looking sickly?"

Narcissa huffed. "Well, whatever you did, believe me that Aunt Walburga _will_ know you've been pigging out on candy."

Sirius shrugged. "Maybe that'll teach her to feed me more next time."

"You lying, ungrateful little—" But the rest of Narcissa's sentence was cut off as the train came to an abrupt halt, and students noisily filed out of their compartments.

A/N: First chappie finally done. Now, in the next chapter, Sirius and James will finally meet… though, of course, not in the most pleasant of ways. Hope you liked it!


End file.
